conversations with a resident

I apologize for the TMI nature of this post, but as many of you can attest to,sometimes you hear about nasty things when you hang out with a medical professional. In fact, sometimes it's all you hear about. 

...

Y: I think I chose the wrong career. I never see my wife, and my hand is always up someone's butt.

...

Y: I look at assholes all day long. They're the window to the soul.

...

The scene: Y just used a "Zip It" to unclog hair from the shower drain. I'm waiting outside the bathroom door because, along with heights and cockroaches, I'm deathly afraid of hair.

Y: silence
Y: silence
Y, barely audible: ewww...
Y, screaming: HOW ARE YOU NOT BALD?

I peek inside and gag at the sight of the hair in the trash can.

Y: The LINING OF YOUR UTERUS is in this trash can and you're grossed out by a little HAIR??

Heard anything funny from a medical professional lately? I want to hear it in the comments! 

(For more quotable Y moments, click here)

a romantic weekend with a resident

I used to write these "love stories"over on my other blog, we're just dandy. Today, I'm back with a new installment.

It's one of those blissful months where the boy works 8 to 5, has weekends off. The boy and the girl relish in sleeping in past 5:30 and eating long luxurious breakfasts together before they both depart for work. When the weekend comes, they spend as much time together as possible. This month, he's studying for Step 3, so the girl agrees to accompany him to their corner coffeeshop, where he studies intently.

As they get in the car (it's snowing, you see, in April -- she swears she's not bitter - so they choose to drive the eight blocks), he grabs her hand. 

"I'm so glad I finally get the chance to talk to you," he says. "I've been dying to tell you something."

What could it be? she wonders. How much he's missed me? How beautiful all of his co-workers think I am? Maybe he's taking me on a surprise date!

"I've been dying to tell you about this perirectal abscess we popped at work the other day."

He begins to describe the needle that was injected into this man's -- his words -- "taint". 

He's so excited, she thinks, And I should be supportive of his interests. But I honestly might barf. 

Later that night, after three cups of coffee and two practice tests, he's sleeping soundly. She brushes her teeth, crawls into bed, and gives him a hug. 

"You're so warm," she murmurs. He rolls over, mid-dream.

"THAT'S BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE NOT HOOKED UP TO AN OXYGEN TANK LIKE THE REST OF THESE IDIOTS," he replies. 

She doesn't ask questions.

{read the other love stories here}

city guides for medical spouses

New here? Welcome to the internet's finest resource for medical spouses. The goal: to be a place to both offer helpful advice and make you smile and nod your head and be all yep, I've been there. If you're looking to whine, well, fine, you can do that here. But hopefully the true-to-life comics and fun freebies will make you forget that you never see that doctor you married all your cares. 

Old friend? Yeah, sorry again for dropping off the face of the Earth. I left this blog alone for so long that it started getting spam comments. How embarrassing.  

Anyway, a goal I've had since starting this blog is to crowd-source a comprehensive-ish set of city guides, encompassing the things medical spouses want to know (but can't easily find on Wikipedia) before they move. I've gotten a lot of e-mails expressing interest in helping out, and now I've finally got a template.

These questions are based on what a group of medical spouses said they would want to know in the comments of this post. I left out things that could be easily gleaned from Wikipedia or FREIDA.

If you want to fill one out, just copy and paste the following into an e-mail, fill it out, and send to medicinealovestory@gmail.com. And if you have any photos to illustrate your points, I'd love to include those. Maybe one day there will be a form. #DREAMBIG

(All fields -- well, except the name of the city and the residency program -- are optional!)

Your name: 
Your blog name: 
Years in city:

City basics
City name: 
How's the cost of living compared to residency salary?
Best neighborhoods for residents [specify which residency program]:
Do you need a car, or can you rely on public transportation?
What's the job market like (for the spouse): 

Residency
How family friendly is the residency program? (Specify which hospital/specialty) Note: there isn't really a specific way to rate this, so any anecdotal thoughts are welcome!
Is there a spouses' group, or any other family resources?

Family
What are the best school districts?
What are the day care options?
What are options for kid-friendly activities?

Fun
How's the culture?
And the restaurant scene?
What's the shopping like?
How active is the city? Are there a lot of outdoor options?

Misc
How would you describe the vibe? 
What is the best part of this city/the residency program from your perspective?
What is the worst part of this city/the residency program from your perspective?
Is it close to a Target? (frequently requested question!)
Is it a Costco or a Sam's kind of place? 

Any other comments?


I'm off to start filling out the questionnaire -- I hope you will too!

um, hi.

You guys.

I have done an amazing job of providing resources to you.

(In case you're not fluent in sarcasm, that was sarcasm.)

I can't believe I went MIA right in the middle of match season. Worst. Blogger. Ever. Don't worry, though, I'm not gone forever. Just trying to work out a schedule around here -- blogging isn't as easy as it was before we moved. I have a busy job, and a long-ish commute, and of course, there are precious moments to spend with the resident when he's around.

But I'll get into a rhythm. Bear with me. 

Hope you're all doing well!

Friday Flashback February 22 - March 1

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

One year ago (Y is a 4th year, and Match Day anticipation is building):

• MATCH DAY IS SO SOON. 

Two years ago (Y is finishing up his OB-GYN rotation)

• Fishing for compliments, OB-GYN style
• Get used to it: every conversation will turn into something medical.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

Friday Flashback: February 1-22

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

One year ago (Y is a 4th year, and I'm finally able to go with him on a few residency interviews):

• What living with a doctor is really  like
• Mildly racist comments from mildly clever future doctors
• Y reveals the best part about flying so much for interviews

Two years ago (Y is still excited about starting to see patients, and looooves to talk about it!)

• Just another ruined breakfast

Three years ago (Y is a second year)

• Your doctor is good at math.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

sh*t residents (and medical students) say

missing the taste of home

Neither of us have been back to Louisiana since we moved to Minneapolis in June. It's a little rough, but for the most part we've both been too busy to let it get us down.

Last week, however, Y came home from work looking a little sad. We were in the middle of a giant group text message with his parents, his brother, and his brother's girlfriend. It started with his mother wishing us all Shabbat shalom! and then turned into an all out emoji-fest.

"I could really go for some chopped liver," Y said dejectedly.

You're probably thinking that sounds disgusting (it's okay, I'm with you), but chopped liver is actually a Jewish delicacy that Y's dad makes to the family's great delight. When Y came home longing for chopped liver, I knew better; he was actually longing for the family dinners we used to share on Sunday nights at their house. 

That night, we sat down to our own family dinner, and Y started telling me about his day. 

"I got to do an autopsy today," he said.

"Oh really?" I asked, feeling a little sorry for him and being extra nice. "Was it like CSI?"

I watched him eat his dinner, knowing he was wishing we were eating chopped liver with his family. 

"No, it wasn't like CSI," he said. "It was an autopsy on just a liver."


And then, knowing his craving came from cutting up a human liver, I started feeling sorry for him for different reasons.

Thursday's link up topic

By the end of this week, fourth year med students will have turned in their rank lists and they'll just be...waiting. I can tell you firsthand, IT. IS. EXCRUCIATING. (And probably 800x worse for the actual student). 

On Thursday, let's link up and tell those who are going through it how we dealt with the excruciating hellish terrible it's not so bad? few weeks before match day. 

How did you meet your [future] doctor?

If you wrote about how you and your medical lovahhh met, link up here! I can't wait to read your stories. Mine is coming soon. Get excited -- it's the sweetest story ever told. #not

Medical Valentines

If you're looking for a last minute valentine for that special medical someone, I've got you covered. These little valentines are perfect for the constant studier, whether it's for a shelf exam, Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, or Step 8 zillion.

 Just stick one of these valentines -- conveniently shaped like a bookmark -- in whatever book they're using to study, and they can't miss it.

Because every medical spouse knows you have to get sneaky to actually get any attention around here, am I right?

 Click here to download the printable PDF!

PS. I couldn't press publish without a shout out to fellow medical spouse Katie at Priceless Design. These bad boys would be a million times better if I'd actually gotten my ish together and let her help me design; instead I contacted her for her design skills approximately 8 seconds before I needed them. You should check her out!

back in the blogging game

I was MIA last week; I'm sure you all understand: Y went from being on a tough rotation, where he was rarely home, to a consult month. 8 to 5, weekends off. Although it's obviously nice to, you know, actually SEE him, I find it really difficult to adjust to not having so much free time.

This Thursday, in honor of Valentine's Day, our link up topic will be the story of how you met your medical man. (Or woman. But so far, I've only heard about women in relationships with men who read this blog. Am I wrong?) 

Can't wait to read some love stories!

valentines for your doctor

1 & 2 Southern Pest || 3 Rifle paper company || 4 Rococco-LA || 5 Kyle & Courtney Harmon

Part of me hopes that someone comes across this page looking for an appropriate valentine for the doctor of whom they are currently a patient, trusts this post blindly, and puts him or herself in a very awkward situation. Only part of me, though.

Coming next week: free printable doctor friendly Valentines!

Medical Valentines/Medical Mondays

Happy February! I know February is supposed to be all about love (and presidents, and black history, and football, and awards shows) but Y hates Valentine's Day. It's not even worth it to try to get him to participate, because you can tell by his perpetual eye-roll that he's not into it. So we don't really acknowledge it. I recommend this to all of you medical spouses out there -- one less holiday to be disappointed about them missing!

For the rest of you, I've rounded up some anatomically correct/scientist friendly Valentines. Be on the lookout for that tomorrow!

Today is February's Medical Monday blog hop! I'm happy to be hosting with Kelly from Newlymeds. The premise is simple: if you have a blog that relates in any way to the medical life, link up to share your blog with the community.

Medical Monday is an opportunity for any and all medical/med life blogs to link up and meet others. So join us!

Are you confused if you qualify for the party?

Do you work in healthcare?

Doctor? Nurse? EMT? Chiropractor? Vet? Dentist? Therapist?

MA? NA? PA? DA?

Are you the spouse or SO of a healthcare worker/student?

Are you a nursing student? Medical student?

Intern? Resident? Fellow?

You get the picture, right? 

LINK UP YOUR POST!

Our once a month bloghop for bloggers like yourself, where we can build a community of support and friendship, learn from one another and share our stories and what's going on in our lives.

Here are the rules:

1. Follow your co-hosts via GFC or email.
2. Link up your medical/med life blog. If your blog name does not clearly state how you fit in to the med/med life world, please write a little intro or link up a specific post which clearly demonstrates your connection.
3. Visit at least 3 other link ups, comment, introduce yourself, and tell them you're stopping by or following from MM!
4. Help spread the word by using our button on your post or sidebar, tweet about Medical Monday, or spread the word on Facebook! The more the merrier for all of us!

And here's a helpful tip. . .

If you haven't turned of word verification, it's ON. Please turn it off. We'll all LOVE you!!

Not sure how? Click here for instructions.

Complete step one by following your co-hosts:

• Emma at Your Doctor's Wife
• Jane at From A Doctor's Wife
• Kelly at Newlymeds
• DJ at Medicine: A Love Story

Post our button on your post or sidebar and help spread the word:

<a href="http://www.yourdoctorswife.com/p/medical-mondays.html" target="blank"> <img src="http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r494/fromadoctorswife/MedicalMonday-001edit125x125.jpg"/> </a>

Want to co-host next month? Shoot Emma an email at yourdoctorswife@gmail.com and be sure to write "Medical Monday Co-host Request" in the subject field.

Now, link up below and have fun! The link up is open through Friday, so be sure to come back during the week to check some great reads!

Friday Flashback: January 26-February 1

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

But first -- Don't forget about the Medical Mondays Blog Hop!

Write a post, any post, and then come back here on Monday to link up with the Medical Mondays, so that all of the other medical bloggers out there can find your blog. 

Back to your regularly scheduled Friday flashback --


One year ago (Y is a 4th year, finishing up residency interviews)

• If you or someone you love interviews at UNC, don't stay at the Millenium Hotel. 

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

questions

Hi friends! I don't have a link up for you this week because I wanted to ask you a question.

When Y started narrowing down the schools he wanted to apply to for residency, I started googling. 

Side note - I feel like every story I tell you starts with me googling something. It's true, I do a lot of googling. Why, just tonight I googled where Nicky and Alex from Full House are now. It was disappointing. 

Anyway, while we were in limbo (my affectionate term for the end of 3rd year and 4th year of med school), I was restless and I needed something to keep me busy. Researching 15 different cities seemed like an excellent way to pass the time. It was mostly unhelpful.

That's why I decided that us medical spouses needed some city guides to a) help inform the decisions, if we were so lucky to be able to throw in our two cents, and b) help us know what to expect.

I'm starting to put together some templates to make it easier for you to easily share info about your city, if you'd like. But first, some questions for those of you who have been in this position: what did you want to know about the cities you could potentially move to? 

I ask these questions because I can't be trusted to come up with topics. My ideal city guide would look like this:

Number of Anthropologies within a 10 mile radius:

Is The Color Run held there?

Number of artisan ice cream shops:

How many times per week will I be asked if I've found Jesus?

So yeah, you might need to help me out. So please, feel free to let me know what would be in your ideal city guide, in the comments or via e-mail to medicinealovestory@gmail.com.  

AND! Have you heard about the Medical Mondays Blog Hop?

It happens once a month and helps bloggers who have any connection to medicine find each other on these big, scary internets. It's simple - write a post, any post, and link up with the Medical Mondays host so that everyone can find your blog. 

This Monday, February 4th, Medicine: A Love Story is hosting the hop! So check back here for the full scoop on how to link up.

That is all. Back to googling Full House characters. I wonder where Comet is now?

sh*t residents say #3

What is residency like?

Meredith at The Mitten Wife had a great idea -- she rounded up ten of her friends and gave them a set of questions to answer (anonymously) about residency. You should definitely check out their answers here - there's a lot of great (and true!) info.

Nobody asked me, but I love the questions she asked and thought I would answer them myself :)

What were your expectations before residency began?

That it would be awful. We would be poor and never see each other. In a way I'm glad that I was made to think this way, because I've been pleasantly surprised. 

What has been the BIGGEST challenge?

The thing that bothers me the most is the inconsistency of Y's schedule and feeling guilty for missing a single second of time together. I hate that a friend will ask me, want to grab dinner Thursday? and I have to say, Well, yes, but Y *might* be getting off early that day, and so if he does I'd like to be home because I haven't seen him in a few days. So let's plan for it, but do you promise not to hate me if I end up canceling? (I'm pretty sure everyone hates me at this point.)

What sacrifices have you had to make that you did not expect?

I feel lucky that I haven't had to make a lot of sacrifices. Y and I put together his rank list together, and we ended up where we both wanted to be. I think location is a lot of what makes people unhappy, so I'm glad we were proactive in that regard.

What is the best advice you would give someone whose spouse/SO is just beginning? What has helped you adjust?

Get a life. Seriously. Don't let your spouse/SO's career become your life. That's just sad. 

I know because it happened to me. When you accidentally start saying things like, "The people in our med school class are so annoying", you know you need to take a step back. Find a way to talk about something other than medicine. 

How do you continually support your spouse/SO without burning yourself out?

I just try to make our house a place that he'll be happy to come home to. Whether that's making sure there's dinner ready when he gets home (that rarely happens), being in an excellent mood when he gets home, or having the dog greet him at the front door wearing a sweater.

What is the most frustrating part?
This isn't a big deal, but something I find frustrating is that people that aren't in the medical field don't understand -- no matter how many times I tell them -- that Y can't just go up to his boss and say My wife's friend is having a party two Saturdays from now, can I get the night off?

Friday Flashback: January 19-25

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

Two years ago (Y is a 3rd year, delivering babies 3 hours away):

• How we keep in touch during away rotations
• Y's typical weekend reading
• The absolute GROSSEST thing I've learned about in my vicarious medical school training.

Three years ago (Y was just a wee second year!)

• Y's deep thoughts on medicine. 
• When med school eats your brain.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

Link up! Fictional Doctors

I'm not even going to try to be creative here. 

As a goofy internal medicine resident, Y would definitely get along with JD from Scrubs. You'll hear over and over again that Scrubs is the most realistic medical show out there, and judging by the people i've met in Y's program -- and the stories he tells me -- that is most definitely the case. 

Thank goodness, because I don't think he could handle someone getting in a life threatening accident every week. (I'm looking at you, Grey's Anatomy.)

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making friends & reality TV

In college, my roommates and I were reality TV junkies. 

<insert embarrassing roommate photo>

Nick and Jessica were the Kate and William of our day, and we never missed an episode of Average Joe. 

(In case you're unfamiliar, Average Joe was the saddest show on television, a dating show where a model got to choose between a bunch of millionaires. BUT THERE WAS A TWIST. The millionaires were all "unattractive" "nerds". And as soon as she fell in love with one of them, in swooped a new batch of "attractive" "cool" millionaires who were added to the mix. She chose the latter. And then the average runner up, Adam, got his own show where he had to pick from "unattractive" women, but I think the networks quickly realized that ugly women did NOT belong on TV, and suddenly shows like The Swan  and Extreme Makeover Face Edition were rampant. 

And we watched every single one of them.)

But once I left college, I  stopped watching reality tv. In fact, my TV watching declined rapidly (cause, you know, the internet) and I deemed myself "too good" for reality shows. In fact, I was "too good" for them (with the exception of Flavor of Love, because really, who is too good for Flava Flav?) until this past June.

And then, 3 months after match day, I found myself in a new city with not a friend to my name. A group of girls that I had met a handful of times invited me to watch The Bachelorette with them. The thought of watching that show appealed to me, well, not at all.

Here's where I impart my first piece of friend making wisdom with y'all: JUST SAY YES. Even if you don't want to. 
(unless we're talking about something scarier than a shallow reality show, like meth or something. Then you should probably say no. Also let us know about it in the city guides, so we know not to move to that city.)

Because a) weekly one hour sessions of catty judging is an incredibly strong bonding experience, and b) The Bachelor franchise is basically girl code. Stuck in an awkward-silence-laden conversation with a girl you don't know? Bring up The Bachelor. You'll instantly have something to talk about. 

Also c) The Bachelor/Bachelorette is kind of hilarious.

After our first viewing of The Bachelorette -- once we got the snark out of the way -- we got to talking about relationships, our families.. the things you talk about with friends. Then The Bachelorette ended, The Bachelor began, and as of Monday night, I'm happy to report that we've moved on to touching one another's pregnant bellies.

That's right: zero friends to touching pregnant bellies in seven months. And it's all thanks to just saying yes.

___

Here are some Cliffs Notes, if you have some Bachelor catching up to do:

• This season's bachelor is Sean, who was on this summer's Bachelorette. He was known for showing off his gleaming chest, giving the most awkward speech about love in the history of the world, and playing a very not funny prank where he tried to convince us that he lived with his parents in their Dallas mcmansion.
• You can tell the producers of this season are patting themselves on the back because this season, 3 episodes in, there are two black girls, one Iraqi girl, one Filipino girl, and one girl with a missing limb. 
• Tierra is The Crazy One. 
• Sarah is The One Armed One. That might sound insensitive, however, I would probably forget that she only has one arm, but not only does the show remind us every other minute, they feel the need to slowly zoom in on her non-arm basically anytime anyone mentions the word "arm".
• As a side note, Sean surprised Sarah by having her little French Bulldog pull up to the mansion... in a limo. Later, Sean sent home one of the girls... in a crappy sedan. 
•  AshLee is a professional organizer/former foster child from a very sketchy foster organization. I say this because she told the story of the first time she met her adoptive father: she was six years old standing, arms crossed, at a gas station. What kind of adoptive parent picks up their child from a gas station? 
• There was an extremely competitive volleyball game, before which one girl said "it was the most important volleyball game of her life". That's a pretty bold statement.
• I just read a recap from Time magazine (yes, Time does Bachelor recaps...) that said Sean gave a rose to Jackie, who "may have just wandered in off the street."  I concur. Who is she?
• A girl named Katie left of her own accord. That was when I knew I liked her. Then I found out she was a blogger and now I want to be her best friend. 

link up topic for Thursday, Jan 24th

Is he dark and twisty like Meredith Gray? A fake doctor like Dr. Drake Ramoray? (your secret is safe with us!) Douchey but loveable like Dr. House?  

If you're feeling metaphorical, maybe he's carbonated and delicious like Dr. Pepper? 

Think about it, write a blog post about it, and link up w/ Medicine: A Love Story on Thursday!

(PS: You might find this list of fictional doctors helpful.)

the first 6 months of residency @ a glance

Friday Flashback: January 12-18

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

One year ago (Y is a 4th year, and I'm finally able to go with him on a few residency interviews):

• Tagging along on interviews is a great opportunity to analyze art and ogle JFK.
• It's also a great way to get mistaken for a prostitute.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

link up: your most interesting medical fact!

today's topic: what's the most interesting medical fact you've learned vicariously?

{scroll down to link up!}

subtitle: Why I'm glad i'm a crazy dog lady. 

You know how they tell pregnant people not to handle cat litter? If you haven't been pregnant, you probably don't know this, as no pregnant person ever walks around saying, "man I could really go for some sushi and the permission to change my cat's litter box."

(side note: no I have never been pregnant, I just know this because Y is an endless fountain of trivia.)

The reason you're not supposed to handle cat litter while pregnant is because pregnant women, with their weakened, sushi-less immune system, are more susceptible to a disease found in cat feces called toxoplasmosis, which can be passed on to the fetus and result in stillbirth.

Now for the actual interesting part: there is some evidence that there is an increased rate of schizophrenia in people who have had toxoplasmosis. So if many people get toxoplasmosis from cats, and many people with toxoplasmosis end up with schizophrenia, a simple application of the transitive property tells us many people with cats could end up considered "crazy", meaning CRAZY CAT LADIES ARE A REAL PHENOMENON. [I'm going to reference my medical journal of choice, Wikipedia, here]

Just another reason I'm thankful I've touched maybe 2 cats in my life. 

Your turn!

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A little late, but here's Thursday's link-up topic: 

what's the most interesting medical fact you've learned vicariously?

Check out last week's responses -- I'm excited to watch the link up grow! And remember - even if you don't have a blog, you can leave your answer in the comments -- even anonymously! -- or on the Facebook page.

And as always, if you have ideas for topics, I'd love to hear them!