questions

Hi friends! I don't have a link up for you this week because I wanted to ask you a question.

When Y started narrowing down the schools he wanted to apply to for residency, I started googling. 

Side note - I feel like every story I tell you starts with me googling something. It's true, I do a lot of googling. Why, just tonight I googled where Nicky and Alex from Full House are now. It was disappointing. 

Anyway, while we were in limbo (my affectionate term for the end of 3rd year and 4th year of med school), I was restless and I needed something to keep me busy. Researching 15 different cities seemed like an excellent way to pass the time. It was mostly unhelpful.

That's why I decided that us medical spouses needed some city guides to a) help inform the decisions, if we were so lucky to be able to throw in our two cents, and b) help us know what to expect.

I'm starting to put together some templates to make it easier for you to easily share info about your city, if you'd like. But first, some questions for those of you who have been in this position: what did you want to know about the cities you could potentially move to? 

I ask these questions because I can't be trusted to come up with topics. My ideal city guide would look like this:

Number of Anthropologies within a 10 mile radius:

Is The Color Run held there?

Number of artisan ice cream shops:

How many times per week will I be asked if I've found Jesus?

So yeah, you might need to help me out. So please, feel free to let me know what would be in your ideal city guide, in the comments or via e-mail to medicinealovestory@gmail.com.  

AND! Have you heard about the Medical Mondays Blog Hop?

It happens once a month and helps bloggers who have any connection to medicine find each other on these big, scary internets. It's simple - write a post, any post, and link up with the Medical Mondays host so that everyone can find your blog. 

This Monday, February 4th, Medicine: A Love Story is hosting the hop! So check back here for the full scoop on how to link up.

That is all. Back to googling Full House characters. I wonder where Comet is now?

sh*t residents say #3

What is residency like?

Meredith at The Mitten Wife had a great idea -- she rounded up ten of her friends and gave them a set of questions to answer (anonymously) about residency. You should definitely check out their answers here - there's a lot of great (and true!) info.

Nobody asked me, but I love the questions she asked and thought I would answer them myself :)

What were your expectations before residency began?

That it would be awful. We would be poor and never see each other. In a way I'm glad that I was made to think this way, because I've been pleasantly surprised. 

What has been the BIGGEST challenge?

The thing that bothers me the most is the inconsistency of Y's schedule and feeling guilty for missing a single second of time together. I hate that a friend will ask me, want to grab dinner Thursday? and I have to say, Well, yes, but Y *might* be getting off early that day, and so if he does I'd like to be home because I haven't seen him in a few days. So let's plan for it, but do you promise not to hate me if I end up canceling? (I'm pretty sure everyone hates me at this point.)

What sacrifices have you had to make that you did not expect?

I feel lucky that I haven't had to make a lot of sacrifices. Y and I put together his rank list together, and we ended up where we both wanted to be. I think location is a lot of what makes people unhappy, so I'm glad we were proactive in that regard.

What is the best advice you would give someone whose spouse/SO is just beginning? What has helped you adjust?

Get a life. Seriously. Don't let your spouse/SO's career become your life. That's just sad. 

I know because it happened to me. When you accidentally start saying things like, "The people in our med school class are so annoying", you know you need to take a step back. Find a way to talk about something other than medicine. 

How do you continually support your spouse/SO without burning yourself out?

I just try to make our house a place that he'll be happy to come home to. Whether that's making sure there's dinner ready when he gets home (that rarely happens), being in an excellent mood when he gets home, or having the dog greet him at the front door wearing a sweater.

What is the most frustrating part?
This isn't a big deal, but something I find frustrating is that people that aren't in the medical field don't understand -- no matter how many times I tell them -- that Y can't just go up to his boss and say My wife's friend is having a party two Saturdays from now, can I get the night off?

Friday Flashback: January 19-25

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

Two years ago (Y is a 3rd year, delivering babies 3 hours away):

• How we keep in touch during away rotations
• Y's typical weekend reading
• The absolute GROSSEST thing I've learned about in my vicarious medical school training.

Three years ago (Y was just a wee second year!)

• Y's deep thoughts on medicine. 
• When med school eats your brain.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

Link up! Fictional Doctors

I'm not even going to try to be creative here. 

As a goofy internal medicine resident, Y would definitely get along with JD from Scrubs. You'll hear over and over again that Scrubs is the most realistic medical show out there, and judging by the people i've met in Y's program -- and the stories he tells me -- that is most definitely the case. 

Thank goodness, because I don't think he could handle someone getting in a life threatening accident every week. (I'm looking at you, Grey's Anatomy.)

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making friends & reality TV

In college, my roommates and I were reality TV junkies. 

<insert embarrassing roommate photo>

Nick and Jessica were the Kate and William of our day, and we never missed an episode of Average Joe. 

(In case you're unfamiliar, Average Joe was the saddest show on television, a dating show where a model got to choose between a bunch of millionaires. BUT THERE WAS A TWIST. The millionaires were all "unattractive" "nerds". And as soon as she fell in love with one of them, in swooped a new batch of "attractive" "cool" millionaires who were added to the mix. She chose the latter. And then the average runner up, Adam, got his own show where he had to pick from "unattractive" women, but I think the networks quickly realized that ugly women did NOT belong on TV, and suddenly shows like The Swan  and Extreme Makeover Face Edition were rampant. 

And we watched every single one of them.)

But once I left college, I  stopped watching reality tv. In fact, my TV watching declined rapidly (cause, you know, the internet) and I deemed myself "too good" for reality shows. In fact, I was "too good" for them (with the exception of Flavor of Love, because really, who is too good for Flava Flav?) until this past June.

And then, 3 months after match day, I found myself in a new city with not a friend to my name. A group of girls that I had met a handful of times invited me to watch The Bachelorette with them. The thought of watching that show appealed to me, well, not at all.

Here's where I impart my first piece of friend making wisdom with y'all: JUST SAY YES. Even if you don't want to. 
(unless we're talking about something scarier than a shallow reality show, like meth or something. Then you should probably say no. Also let us know about it in the city guides, so we know not to move to that city.)

Because a) weekly one hour sessions of catty judging is an incredibly strong bonding experience, and b) The Bachelor franchise is basically girl code. Stuck in an awkward-silence-laden conversation with a girl you don't know? Bring up The Bachelor. You'll instantly have something to talk about. 

Also c) The Bachelor/Bachelorette is kind of hilarious.

After our first viewing of The Bachelorette -- once we got the snark out of the way -- we got to talking about relationships, our families.. the things you talk about with friends. Then The Bachelorette ended, The Bachelor began, and as of Monday night, I'm happy to report that we've moved on to touching one another's pregnant bellies.

That's right: zero friends to touching pregnant bellies in seven months. And it's all thanks to just saying yes.

___

Here are some Cliffs Notes, if you have some Bachelor catching up to do:

• This season's bachelor is Sean, who was on this summer's Bachelorette. He was known for showing off his gleaming chest, giving the most awkward speech about love in the history of the world, and playing a very not funny prank where he tried to convince us that he lived with his parents in their Dallas mcmansion.
• You can tell the producers of this season are patting themselves on the back because this season, 3 episodes in, there are two black girls, one Iraqi girl, one Filipino girl, and one girl with a missing limb. 
• Tierra is The Crazy One. 
• Sarah is The One Armed One. That might sound insensitive, however, I would probably forget that she only has one arm, but not only does the show remind us every other minute, they feel the need to slowly zoom in on her non-arm basically anytime anyone mentions the word "arm".
• As a side note, Sean surprised Sarah by having her little French Bulldog pull up to the mansion... in a limo. Later, Sean sent home one of the girls... in a crappy sedan. 
•  AshLee is a professional organizer/former foster child from a very sketchy foster organization. I say this because she told the story of the first time she met her adoptive father: she was six years old standing, arms crossed, at a gas station. What kind of adoptive parent picks up their child from a gas station? 
• There was an extremely competitive volleyball game, before which one girl said "it was the most important volleyball game of her life". That's a pretty bold statement.
• I just read a recap from Time magazine (yes, Time does Bachelor recaps...) that said Sean gave a rose to Jackie, who "may have just wandered in off the street."  I concur. Who is she?
• A girl named Katie left of her own accord. That was when I knew I liked her. Then I found out she was a blogger and now I want to be her best friend. 

link up topic for Thursday, Jan 24th

Is he dark and twisty like Meredith Gray? A fake doctor like Dr. Drake Ramoray? (your secret is safe with us!) Douchey but loveable like Dr. House?  

If you're feeling metaphorical, maybe he's carbonated and delicious like Dr. Pepper? 

Think about it, write a blog post about it, and link up w/ Medicine: A Love Story on Thursday!

(PS: You might find this list of fictional doctors helpful.)