<insert embarrassing roommate photo>
Nick and Jessica were the Kate and William of our day, and we never missed an episode of Average Joe.
(In case you're unfamiliar, Average Joe was the saddest show on television, a dating show where a model got to choose between a bunch of millionaires. BUT THERE WAS A TWIST. The millionaires were all "unattractive" "nerds". And as soon as she fell in love with one of them, in swooped a new batch of "attractive" "cool" millionaires who were added to the mix. She chose the latter. And then the average runner up, Adam, got his own show where he had to pick from "unattractive" women, but I think the networks quickly realized that ugly women did NOT belong on TV, and suddenly shows like The Swan and Extreme Makeover Face Edition were rampant.
And we watched every single one of them.)
But once I left college, I stopped watching reality tv. In fact, my TV watching declined rapidly (cause, you know, the internet) and I deemed myself "too good" for reality shows. In fact, I was "too good" for them (with the exception of Flavor of Love, because really, who is too good for Flava Flav?) until this past June.
And then, 3 months after match day, I found myself in a new city with not a friend to my name. A group of girls that I had met a handful of times invited me to watch The Bachelorette with them. The thought of watching that show appealed to me, well, not at all.
Here's where I impart my first piece of friend making wisdom with y'all: JUST SAY YES. Even if you don't want to.
(unless we're talking about something scarier than a shallow reality show, like meth or something. Then you should probably say no. Also let us know about it in the city guides, so we know not to move to that city.)
Because a) weekly one hour sessions of catty judging is an incredibly strong bonding experience, and b) The Bachelor franchise is basically girl code. Stuck in an awkward-silence-laden conversation with a girl you don't know? Bring up The Bachelor. You'll instantly have something to talk about.
Also c) The Bachelor/Bachelorette is kind of hilarious.
After our first viewing of The Bachelorette -- once we got the snark out of the way -- we got to talking about relationships, our families.. the things you talk about with friends. Then The Bachelorette ended, The Bachelor began, and as of Monday night, I'm happy to report that we've moved on to touching one another's pregnant bellies.
That's right: zero friends to touching pregnant bellies in seven months. And it's all thanks to just saying yes.
- This season's bachelor is Sean, who was on this summer's Bachelorette. He was known for showing off his gleaming chest, giving the most awkward speech about love in the history of the world, and playing a very not funny prank where he tried to convince us that he lived with his parents in their Dallas mcmansion.
- You can tell the producers of this season are patting themselves on the back because this season, 3 episodes in, there are two black girls, one Iraqi girl, one Filipino girl, and one girl with a missing limb.
- Tierra is The Crazy One.
- Sarah is The One Armed One. That might sound insensitive, however, I would probably forget that she only has one arm, but not only does the show remind us every other minute, they feel the need to slowly zoom in on her non-arm basically anytime anyone mentions the word "arm".
- As a side note, Sean surprised Sarah by having her little French Bulldog pull up to the mansion... in a limo. Later, Sean sent home one of the girls... in a crappy sedan.
- AshLee is a professional organizer/former foster child from a very sketchy foster organization. I say this because she told the story of the first time she met her adoptive father: she was six years old standing, arms crossed, at a gas station. What kind of adoptive parent picks up their child from a gas station?
- There was an extremely competitive volleyball game, before which one girl said "it was the most important volleyball game of her life". That's a pretty bold statement.
- I just read a recap from Time magazine (yes, Time does Bachelor recaps...) that said Sean gave a rose to Jackie, who "may have just wandered in off the street." I concur. Who is she?
- A girl named Katie left of her own accord. That was when I knew I liked her. Then I found out she was a blogger and now I want to be her best friend.