questions

Hi friends! I don't have a link up for you this week because I wanted to ask you a question.

When Y started narrowing down the schools he wanted to apply to for residency, I started googling. 

Side note - I feel like every story I tell you starts with me googling something. It's true, I do a lot of googling. Why, just tonight I googled where Nicky and Alex from Full House are now. It was disappointing. 

Anyway, while we were in limbo (my affectionate term for the end of 3rd year and 4th year of med school), I was restless and I needed something to keep me busy. Researching 15 different cities seemed like an excellent way to pass the time. It was mostly unhelpful.

That's why I decided that us medical spouses needed some city guides to a) help inform the decisions, if we were so lucky to be able to throw in our two cents, and b) help us know what to expect.

I'm starting to put together some templates to make it easier for you to easily share info about your city, if you'd like. But first, some questions for those of you who have been in this position: what did you want to know about the cities you could potentially move to? 

I ask these questions because I can't be trusted to come up with topics. My ideal city guide would look like this:

Number of Anthropologies within a 10 mile radius:

Is The Color Run held there?

Number of artisan ice cream shops:

How many times per week will I be asked if I've found Jesus?

So yeah, you might need to help me out. So please, feel free to let me know what would be in your ideal city guide, in the comments or via e-mail to medicinealovestory@gmail.com.  

AND! Have you heard about the Medical Mondays Blog Hop?

It happens once a month and helps bloggers who have any connection to medicine find each other on these big, scary internets. It's simple - write a post, any post, and link up with the Medical Mondays host so that everyone can find your blog. 

This Monday, February 4th, Medicine: A Love Story is hosting the hop! So check back here for the full scoop on how to link up.

That is all. Back to googling Full House characters. I wonder where Comet is now?

sh*t residents say #3

What is residency like?

Meredith at The Mitten Wife had a great idea -- she rounded up ten of her friends and gave them a set of questions to answer (anonymously) about residency. You should definitely check out their answers here - there's a lot of great (and true!) info.

Nobody asked me, but I love the questions she asked and thought I would answer them myself :)

What were your expectations before residency began?

That it would be awful. We would be poor and never see each other. In a way I'm glad that I was made to think this way, because I've been pleasantly surprised. 

What has been the BIGGEST challenge?

The thing that bothers me the most is the inconsistency of Y's schedule and feeling guilty for missing a single second of time together. I hate that a friend will ask me, want to grab dinner Thursday? and I have to say, Well, yes, but Y *might* be getting off early that day, and so if he does I'd like to be home because I haven't seen him in a few days. So let's plan for it, but do you promise not to hate me if I end up canceling? (I'm pretty sure everyone hates me at this point.)

What sacrifices have you had to make that you did not expect?

I feel lucky that I haven't had to make a lot of sacrifices. Y and I put together his rank list together, and we ended up where we both wanted to be. I think location is a lot of what makes people unhappy, so I'm glad we were proactive in that regard.

What is the best advice you would give someone whose spouse/SO is just beginning? What has helped you adjust?

Get a life. Seriously. Don't let your spouse/SO's career become your life. That's just sad. 

I know because it happened to me. When you accidentally start saying things like, "The people in our med school class are so annoying", you know you need to take a step back. Find a way to talk about something other than medicine. 

How do you continually support your spouse/SO without burning yourself out?

I just try to make our house a place that he'll be happy to come home to. Whether that's making sure there's dinner ready when he gets home (that rarely happens), being in an excellent mood when he gets home, or having the dog greet him at the front door wearing a sweater.

What is the most frustrating part?
This isn't a big deal, but something I find frustrating is that people that aren't in the medical field don't understand -- no matter how many times I tell them -- that Y can't just go up to his boss and say My wife's friend is having a party two Saturdays from now, can I get the night off?

Friday Flashback: January 19-25

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

Two years ago (Y is a 3rd year, delivering babies 3 hours away):

• How we keep in touch during away rotations
• Y's typical weekend reading
• The absolute GROSSEST thing I've learned about in my vicarious medical school training.

Three years ago (Y was just a wee second year!)

• Y's deep thoughts on medicine. 
• When med school eats your brain.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

Link up! Fictional Doctors

I'm not even going to try to be creative here. 

As a goofy internal medicine resident, Y would definitely get along with JD from Scrubs. You'll hear over and over again that Scrubs is the most realistic medical show out there, and judging by the people i've met in Y's program -- and the stories he tells me -- that is most definitely the case. 

Thank goodness, because I don't think he could handle someone getting in a life threatening accident every week. (I'm looking at you, Grey's Anatomy.)

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making friends & reality TV

In college, my roommates and I were reality TV junkies. 

<insert embarrassing roommate photo>

Nick and Jessica were the Kate and William of our day, and we never missed an episode of Average Joe. 

(In case you're unfamiliar, Average Joe was the saddest show on television, a dating show where a model got to choose between a bunch of millionaires. BUT THERE WAS A TWIST. The millionaires were all "unattractive" "nerds". And as soon as she fell in love with one of them, in swooped a new batch of "attractive" "cool" millionaires who were added to the mix. She chose the latter. And then the average runner up, Adam, got his own show where he had to pick from "unattractive" women, but I think the networks quickly realized that ugly women did NOT belong on TV, and suddenly shows like The Swan  and Extreme Makeover Face Edition were rampant. 

And we watched every single one of them.)

But once I left college, I  stopped watching reality tv. In fact, my TV watching declined rapidly (cause, you know, the internet) and I deemed myself "too good" for reality shows. In fact, I was "too good" for them (with the exception of Flavor of Love, because really, who is too good for Flava Flav?) until this past June.

And then, 3 months after match day, I found myself in a new city with not a friend to my name. A group of girls that I had met a handful of times invited me to watch The Bachelorette with them. The thought of watching that show appealed to me, well, not at all.

Here's where I impart my first piece of friend making wisdom with y'all: JUST SAY YES. Even if you don't want to. 
(unless we're talking about something scarier than a shallow reality show, like meth or something. Then you should probably say no. Also let us know about it in the city guides, so we know not to move to that city.)

Because a) weekly one hour sessions of catty judging is an incredibly strong bonding experience, and b) The Bachelor franchise is basically girl code. Stuck in an awkward-silence-laden conversation with a girl you don't know? Bring up The Bachelor. You'll instantly have something to talk about. 

Also c) The Bachelor/Bachelorette is kind of hilarious.

After our first viewing of The Bachelorette -- once we got the snark out of the way -- we got to talking about relationships, our families.. the things you talk about with friends. Then The Bachelorette ended, The Bachelor began, and as of Monday night, I'm happy to report that we've moved on to touching one another's pregnant bellies.

That's right: zero friends to touching pregnant bellies in seven months. And it's all thanks to just saying yes.

___

Here are some Cliffs Notes, if you have some Bachelor catching up to do:

• This season's bachelor is Sean, who was on this summer's Bachelorette. He was known for showing off his gleaming chest, giving the most awkward speech about love in the history of the world, and playing a very not funny prank where he tried to convince us that he lived with his parents in their Dallas mcmansion.
• You can tell the producers of this season are patting themselves on the back because this season, 3 episodes in, there are two black girls, one Iraqi girl, one Filipino girl, and one girl with a missing limb. 
• Tierra is The Crazy One. 
• Sarah is The One Armed One. That might sound insensitive, however, I would probably forget that she only has one arm, but not only does the show remind us every other minute, they feel the need to slowly zoom in on her non-arm basically anytime anyone mentions the word "arm".
• As a side note, Sean surprised Sarah by having her little French Bulldog pull up to the mansion... in a limo. Later, Sean sent home one of the girls... in a crappy sedan. 
•  AshLee is a professional organizer/former foster child from a very sketchy foster organization. I say this because she told the story of the first time she met her adoptive father: she was six years old standing, arms crossed, at a gas station. What kind of adoptive parent picks up their child from a gas station? 
• There was an extremely competitive volleyball game, before which one girl said "it was the most important volleyball game of her life". That's a pretty bold statement.
• I just read a recap from Time magazine (yes, Time does Bachelor recaps...) that said Sean gave a rose to Jackie, who "may have just wandered in off the street."  I concur. Who is she?
• A girl named Katie left of her own accord. That was when I knew I liked her. Then I found out she was a blogger and now I want to be her best friend. 

link up topic for Thursday, Jan 24th

Is he dark and twisty like Meredith Gray? A fake doctor like Dr. Drake Ramoray? (your secret is safe with us!) Douchey but loveable like Dr. House?  

If you're feeling metaphorical, maybe he's carbonated and delicious like Dr. Pepper? 

Think about it, write a blog post about it, and link up w/ Medicine: A Love Story on Thursday!

(PS: You might find this list of fictional doctors helpful.)

the first 6 months of residency @ a glance

Friday Flashback: January 12-18

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

One year ago (Y is a 4th year, and I'm finally able to go with him on a few residency interviews):

• Tagging along on interviews is a great opportunity to analyze art and ogle JFK.
• It's also a great way to get mistaken for a prostitute.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? 5 years ago? Share your link in the comments!

link up: your most interesting medical fact!

today's topic: what's the most interesting medical fact you've learned vicariously?

{scroll down to link up!}

subtitle: Why I'm glad i'm a crazy dog lady. 

You know how they tell pregnant people not to handle cat litter? If you haven't been pregnant, you probably don't know this, as no pregnant person ever walks around saying, "man I could really go for some sushi and the permission to change my cat's litter box."

(side note: no I have never been pregnant, I just know this because Y is an endless fountain of trivia.)

The reason you're not supposed to handle cat litter while pregnant is because pregnant women, with their weakened, sushi-less immune system, are more susceptible to a disease found in cat feces called toxoplasmosis, which can be passed on to the fetus and result in stillbirth.

Now for the actual interesting part: there is some evidence that there is an increased rate of schizophrenia in people who have had toxoplasmosis. So if many people get toxoplasmosis from cats, and many people with toxoplasmosis end up with schizophrenia, a simple application of the transitive property tells us many people with cats could end up considered "crazy", meaning CRAZY CAT LADIES ARE A REAL PHENOMENON. [I'm going to reference my medical journal of choice, Wikipedia, here]

Just another reason I'm thankful I've touched maybe 2 cats in my life. 

Your turn!

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A little late, but here's Thursday's link-up topic: 

what's the most interesting medical fact you've learned vicariously?

Check out last week's responses -- I'm excited to watch the link up grow! And remember - even if you don't have a blog, you can leave your answer in the comments -- even anonymously! -- or on the Facebook page.

And as always, if you have ideas for topics, I'd love to hear them!

shit residents say #2

Y actually said this to me the other day.

But then I remembered that the internet has developed a way to make mundane -- even strange -- comments seem romantic.

Thank you, internet.

Apparently, it was meant as a compliment and means I have prominent neck muscles. 

Whatever -- it was awkward.

on call movie night: Pitch Perfect

Something about this movie -- a musical comedy that follows college freshmen through a collegiate a capella season -- just spoke to me. 

Maybe it's because I'm a really good singer (in my shower & alone in my car) and am fully prepared to make a career in a capella one day. 

Maybe it's because the entire movie was filmed at my college ("Lincoln Center"? Nope, that's the stage where I had my college ID made -- and graduated college. The pool where the riff off takes place? That's where my swim team practiced in high school.) 

Maybe it's because at the end, when Jesse says "I told you the ending was the best part" it reminds me of THE romantic quote of the 1990s (for the under 12 set), "I told you I was a good dancer."

Maybe it's because the grand romantic gesture is performed by -RECORD SCRATCH - the female lead, giving me hope that I could potentially sing an 80s song and make a boy (and by a boy, I mean my husband) look at me like this:

But let's face it: it's probably because I will never grow up, and will always appreciate a teen movie that involves choreography.

I'm one of those people who can't watch Glee/American Idol/The Voice without singing constantly for the next 3 hours. So this movie is the perfect on call movie: Y isn't there to tell me to shut up. So I can go on pretending that I am Toni Braxton, and someone will hear me singing at a gas pump and give me a record deal. (That story has stuck with me since Toni Braxton's peak in 1994 or whenever.)

Please, rent this. I'll be here at my computer, watching the performances over and over on YouTube, waiting for someone to tell me I'm not the only person over the age of 21 who is mildly obsessed. Thanks.

Friday Flashback: January 5-11

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

One year ago (Y is a fourth year nearing the end of interview season):

• Traveling around the country sounds great to me; Y is just confused and ready for it to be over.
• Does delivering a baby change a person?
• Flying with a know-it-all med student is BAD. NEWS. BEARS.

Two years ago (Y is a third year. I don't see much of him):

• A medical student's interpretation of Black Swan

What about y'all? Care to share any flashbacks?

Medicine: YOUR love story

Okay people, let's hear it: What's the craziest/funniest conversation/experience you've had as a result of sleep deprivation?

Tell us all about it on your blog, then enter your link into the widget [sidenote: I'm so excited that we've started using the word widget in everyday conversation] and don't forget to slap the button at the bottom of the page up on your post!

No blog? No worries! Tell us a story (anonymous or not) in the comments! 

___

Here are two recent conversations that made me laugh:

Y and I are watching an Auburn football game. 

Y, yawning: What are Auburn's colors?

Me: Navy and orange.

Y: But what are their colors?

Me: Navy and orange....

Y: No, what are their colors?

Me: NAVY. AND. ORANGE.

Y: Right.

Y: But what color are they?

___

Y mumbles unintelligibly while sleeping

Me: What did you say?

Y: I wasn't talking to you.

Me: Who were you talking to?

Y: The people.

Me: What people?

Y: The sick people. 

___

Y rolls over as I get into bed.

Y: Did you know what they changed John Hancock's name to John Footpenis?

___

Your turn!

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anatomy of a doctor: sponge brain

It's no surprise that my husband, Y, decided to go to med school. He has this annoying ability (that I'm totally jealous of) to memorize anything he reads or hears. Medical textbooks, news stories, entire episodes of Seinfeld: Nothing is safe from the clutches of his memory. (except for nearly everything I tell him, but that's a rant for a different day)

While Y was in med school, this talent was of no use to me - I just didn't care about the crap that was filling his head, including but not limited to: EKG signs, biochemistry, or whatever Goljan thought was important that day.

But in residency, with less time devoted to studying and more time to watch TV, listen to NPR, and read, this special skill ensures that we (he) will never, ever run out of things to talk about.

Last night's conversation topic du jour? 

The translation of the song Gangnam Style, its deeper meaning in Korean culture, exactly how many pageviews the video has gotten (and how many hours, days, and years that number translates to), and how Psy came up with that ingenious dance. 

[Followed by us doing said dance, dog running around at our feet.] 

Being married to a sponge is so rewarding. 

To give myself a little credit, I have the same skill but it only applies to celebrities and their babies. What about you? Do you know a sponge? Are you a sponge? Do you want to discuss Violet, Seraphina and Samuel Affleck with me?

shit residents say #1

it's the new hi honey, i'm home!

we've all been there

medical letters and numbers I don't understand

Meghann at Happy Yonder wrote a great post last week that landed on such a good point: these medical people; they don't understand how amazing their stories would be... if they left out the medical parts. 

------

Basically he was using big, confusing words.  I looked up and around the room.  All of the doctors there were nodding their heads, seemingly very interested and understanding all of this medical jargon.  At this point, you'd THINK that the wives would have eyes glazed over, not even paying attention anymore, but NO.  We were all on the edge of our seats, because as usual, THE BEST WAS YET TO COME.  The best is ALWAYS yet to come.  After more medical words, finally I blurt out,"So tell them what happened!" and Jared finally comes out with it...

Click here to read more

-------

Yeah, I've been there. The other day, Y was recounting his day and he mentioned a patient, who came in with a mean arterial pressure of 40, hemoglobin of 10.2, creatinine kinase of 19,000...and a suicide note.

He started to move on to what he ate for lunch.

"STOP," I demanded.

He stopped, confused.

"What did the suicide note say?"

"Huh?"

"You said he had a suicide note! What did it say?"

He didn't remember. Of course.

Friday Flashback:January 1-4

I've been blogging about this weird med school/residency journey for almost three years. Every Friday, I'll bring you insight from years past (you know, in case you missed my oh-so-important recap of med school prom or what have you).

One year ago, Y was a 4th year, nearing the end of months and months of interviews. Read the dramatic tale of his Pennsylvania interview hell.

What medical adventures were you getting into one year ago this week? Two years ago? A decade ago? Share your link or story in the comments!

linking it up

Starting next week, Medicine: A Love Story will host a link up every Thursday! I haven't thought of a clever name -- weird, since that's usually my favorite part of anything -- but I hope it will come to me in the shower, or, you know, in an e-mail from one of you, maybe? ;)

Here's how it will work: A topic will be posted here the Thursday before the link up, giving you a week to think about what you want to write. On the day of the link up, I'll post a little widget over here. After you write your post, you can put your link in the widget and it will show up here so all the world can find your blog. (Yes, all the world reads this blog.)

Here's the topic for January 10th, since I know we've all dealt with a zombie doc: What's the craziest conversation/experience you've had as a result of sleep deprivation?

I hope you'll play along, and I would love to hear your ideas for future link ups! What have you been dying to know or share?

who is this brand new actress?

My husband ( Y ) and I saw This is 40 a few nights ago. Megan Fox is in the movie, playing, no surprise, a hypersexual character that wears little clothing. When she appeared onscreen for the first time, Y leaned over to me. 

"Is that Yasmine Bleeth?" he whispered. 

I looked at him like he was an alien.

"Yasmine Bleeth is 50. Have you not watched TV since 1994?"

Is it possible that Y has been so distracted by med school and residency that he missed the rise of Megan Fox? 

I guess if anything could make you forget this:

it would be med school.

Medical Resolutions

• hear the word "discharge" without wincing.
• stop retorting sarcastically, "Oh, is that your medical opinion?" when my husband says something dumb.
• learn what the hell a [insert dinner time medical subject of the day] is.
• stop teasing my husband for finishing half a book in a the time it takes me to read five.
• stop complaining about holidays spent apart and embrace the ones we actually get to spend together - who says MLK Jr wouldn't have wanted us to dress up and go out to a fancy dinner in his honor?
• teach at least one person that my husband is not in med school, and he's not going to be a doctor -- he is one. Then, have them actually remember at our next conversation. 

yours?